NYCUP

I hurt for the things brought up during the NYC Urban Project.  For the injustices in the world that are present here in Fredonia/Dunkirk as well as in NYC and around the world.  I think specifically of the youth I see regularly as they go through struggles.  I pray for wisdom in how to support them, understanding for what they're going through and compassion to join along side them however that looks.  I never imagined I would be doing tutoring at the Salvation Army with 15-20 kids and running a program there for hours each week, that I would have such a heart for people who are growing up in so different of circumstances, that I would cry with them and for them when they hurt.

My viewpoint on justice has changed since I've been able to live it out regularly.  I don't feel like NYCUP taught me much that was new as I knew about human trafficking and it's prevalence, I knew that I have trouble feeling and that sometimes it gets so bad that I'm not only suppressing my difficult emotions, but that I lose all desire to do anything, including simple tasks.  I knew that I needed to work on accepting love and being shown love as well as being more vulnerable to share my feelings even in the midst of the constant pain that I feel.  It's hard to accept that I can't do everything, but having the staff support to accept that makes a difference.  I need that regular support and I felt truely loved as I arranged for a ride home and had three people willing to come and get me, even if that meant borrowing a car to do it.  

Many of the phrases used during NYCUP I had heard before when I looked over the past notes from NYCUPs and training: discussing LoGOFF (Local, Green, Organic, Free, Fair Trade), ethnic identity, human trafficking, poverty + isolation=exploitation.  But I want to increase my conscious thoughts for how I live in terms of the 4 P's: Pray, Purchase, Partner, and Policy.  I want to continue to press into who I am as a Pennsylvania Dutch white person and what that means for how I relate to others.  I'm thankful that I've grown in my own ethnic identity dramatically since I joined staff and then made the decision to fully invest in Dunkirk.  I know that I have privileges that many others don't have and I want to help alleviate the differences when possible, knowing that they cause some types of poverty and isolation.  I want to start next year with the goal of becoming a MEF and learning about who we are, embracing it and desiring wholeness in Christ.  I know that others are watching my life and I feel that while I'm not perfect and I still have a long way to go, that I am far enough on the journey of racial reconciliation to invite others to join along side of me, even those who haven't considered their white culture.  I never would have imagined my life turning out this way, but I wouldn't give it up either.  I want that same thing for others so that they can see the bigger picture of the body of Christ.  We need people of all races, ethnicities, ages, and voices to see who God is, to join alongside each other to rejoice and cry.

Fredonia and Geneseo students know there's hope in Christ. 

NYCUP gave us the chance to join alongside UVA in prayer around the police brutality that happened during the trip, to cry with others as they shared their psalms and were given permission to feel, to puzzle together what it means to accept our ethnic identity, and to rejoice as 10 joined in the body of Christ on our final night.  Now as we return to our campuses and consider what this means for ourselves we know what we are inviting others to: a fuller picture of God's Kingdom on this earth.